Game 7 Alert! Astros Win!

Look, everyone! The blog writer at Korked is ALL OVER IT! Posting about the game after it ended just a few hours ago!?

Yeah, okay, now quiet your applause (thank you, thank you) so we can talk about this Game 7 because it was exciting. Lopsided? Maybe a little. But still, oh, so exciting. Let’s dive into this storyline, baby!

The first third of this game made it look like things were going to be a pitcher’s duel. Charlie Morton and C.C. Sabathia were both dealing and posting up their zeros just fine. But then the ‘Stros managed to get to the Yankees’ big lefty in the 4th.

Kahnle came in to relieve him and, at that point, it was the one they call Evan Gattis that did the dirty deed to the tune of a solo homer. And it was quite the dinger. Pull Side City off the big wall facing below the train. Uhhuh, daddy’s home. (Yuli Gurriel would have had a blast of his own earlier in the first third of the game but Aaron Judge managed to reach up and take it from over the right field fence. Because of course he did.)

After that moment in the 4th, the Astros struck again in the 5th through another the strength of another jimmy jack. The Little Legend, Jose Altuve, sent it that time – and McCann followed up with two-run double later in the inning. That put the Houston club up by four.

And that turned out to be all it would take for Astros. Charlie Morton polished a gem, finishing off his night in the 5th inning having given up 0 runs with 5 strikeouts. Really made mincemeat out of that Yankee lineup giving up 2 hits in that span. Redemption must taste so sweet, my good man. After him, Lance McCullers showed up and threw the rest of the game. He gave up 1 hit, walked 1, and struck out 6 on his way to earning a 12 out save (Now that is a custom look.)

So, where do the Astros go from here? On to the World Series. Duh…

But how do things look for them is what you are really asking. Well, we’re going to go with good. In this, the last and final game of the Championship Serieseses, every Astros hitter notched a knock. They gave up no runs with a couple starting pitchers. And the starters were strong the whole way through the series. The kryptonite here that everyone has been waiting to collapse is the Astro bullpen…But so far it hasn’t played a role.

But we here at Korked are here to ask the important questions. The most important one we think no one is asking is: Where do the Yankees go from here? To answer that, we will go down a few key players on the Yankees roster and see what we think they will be up to this offseason:

  • Aaron Judge, now out of the limelight, can go back to his usual diet of swallowing ogres whole. Ogres usually swallow normal humans whole for reference. He’ll also be at the gym picking up heavy things and putting them back down. Oh, but we should probably mention that he doesn’t use the free weights. Instead, he just picks up the rack that all of the weights are on and uses that.
  • Luis Severino will, presumably, go back to turning boulders into smaller rocks for the entire Dominican Republic by throwing them 1000 mph into concrete walls. He also uses this ability on any coconuts lying around so that natives and visitors alike can get to that sweet, sweet nectar inside them fruits. (Fruits, right?)
  • Greg Bird will – Am I above making bird jokes?...Nahhhh! – fly around various cities in the world exploring their greatest landing spots. We have advanced knowledge from an undisclosed source (Fake news?) that he may also seek out America’s greatest chicken coops and write a book about them. He plans on calling it America’s Greatest Chicken Coops.
  • Masahiro Tanaka will go back to his offseason job: full on ninja. We wish you could tell you more about what he will be doing beyond that but it was hard enough to even find out that he is a ninja. Honestly, we are mostly just guessing because we lose track of him for weeks at a time during the offseason. But no doubt he’s doing something sweeeeeeeet.
  • C. Sabathia, the elder statesman of the bunch, will head home to be with his wife and kids and continue to be an exemplary father. Not only will he spend time with his kids but he will also attend to his wife and treat her like the queen that she is. C.C. is a great guy, that’s all we are saying here really.

So, that rounds out this series on it’s headlines, doesn’t it? Let’s see – a little summary, what’s next for those that prevailed, what’s next for those that didn’t…Yup, we’re all good. No need to revisit my predictions, dear reader....

Hey, I was closer this time! Don’t make fun!


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